Directions

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. I tend to start my resolutions as soon as they come to me, all throughout the year. The thing I love about New Year's, though, is the chance to count up all the experiences I gained and figure out which ones I'm ready to say goodbye to. A new year. Such a fantastic opportunity to decide what to keep and what to leave behind.
2010 felt like a long battle against everything and everyone. I worked way too hard, and while I got some great things to add to my resume, I upped my stress level and made a surprisingly little amount of money. I fought for a one way relationship for most of 2010. And then I suddenly realized, I shouldn't really have to fight for anything. I'm a motivated person, and if I want to do something, I do it... but I'm starting to understand that if there's that much resistance, it's probably not right.
I started my resolution a few months ago. I'm a spiritual person, and finally just let God and The Universe tell me what to do. I stopped fighting, and started listening. Once I did that, I started making decisions I'm proud of. I got out of what would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I opened up a whole world of possibilities for myself. The decisions I made were the hardest ones I've ever had to make, but I know now that they were right.
Last night, with my best friend in tow, I had a compass tattooed on my foot. Hidden inside it is a daisy, my favorite flower. A wildflower. My spirit, in it's truest form, is a wild one. I've given myself permission to celebrate who I really am, and trust that I'll get pointed in the right direction.
So. I learned a thousand lessons in 2010. I'm going to remember them, but have already let go of pretty much everything else. I have no idea what 2011 will bring, but I can't wait to find out. And whatever happens, I know I'll land on my feet.

Excess

Excess weight comes in many forms. It's found on the body. Or in a home filled with things- a bookshelf that needs to be filtered through, an extra chair that crowds the room. It's found in the form of a person who lets you give all of your love, time, promises, yet withholds theirs.
It starts to build up. Time flies by, and suddenly you realize you've gained 30 pounds, acquired clutter, and spent years giving priority to people who are emotionally unavailable. A life full of things that keep you occupied, but don't actually fulfill.
These situations don't just occur on their own. They happen when you don't want to believe what's actually going on. You have to recognize the signs and deal with them early on. Cut your calories after you gain the first couple pounds. Clean out your closet. Say goodbye after the first promise is not kept. That's the easy way.
When you don't accept it in the beginning, it's just your own fault for letting it happen. Excess weight doesn't go away by itself- you have to make the decision. And at that point, all you can do is go forward. Learn how to avoid the same mistakes next time.

2 months ago I began giving away my clothes and counting my calories. Today I am 10 pounds lighter, not counting the clothes I got rid of.
In another month or two I will have no excess weight left, in any form.
Although I might keep my hair long.