Fantasy

Guess what?! In a couple months, I get to go here:

Yep! Playa del Carmen, just south of Cancun. I'll be singing for Opera Maya for the first couple weeks of June. I get to sing one of my arias with orchestra for FOUR different gala concerts. Do you realize what that means?
Well sure, it means an awesome experience. I'll learn so much. And it'll be super fun. But do you realize what else this means?


DRESSES.


Yes! The dresses! Oh, the dresses. One of my greatest joys in life. If I could wear ball gowns every day, I totally would. I joke about it all the time- wearing my gowns to the grocery store, walking the dog. But in all seriousness, I see it as the ultimate feminist movement: being amazing at what I do, and wearing gorgeous gowns to set it off. What man can do that?

Given the fact that I have no money right now, and am about to spend more money I don't have on this program, I'll obviously be digging through my closet and maybe hitting Nordstrom Rack. But just for now, I figured I might as well draft up a list of front runners for if I did find some money. A sort of fantasy dress league, if you will.
So here we go:

First up, a little nod to my destination! Aidan Mattox. Can't you picture it? A warm night in the Caribbean; I'll have a little glow from all the sunshine...






Next up, another Aidan Mattox. A little more traditional than I usually go for, but something about this one is just so elegant!






Just gorgeous. There is something so sexy about how natural this is- the color, the flow of it. BCBG:



Now, since this is indeed fantasy, we may as well go all the way. I've lusted after this dress ever since the final episode of Sex and the City. Here we are, Carrie's Versace mille-feuille gown (mille-feuille is a layered pastry). Rumor is this dress retailed at $79,000. But who's counting anymore. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to be completely surrounded by thousands of layers?! I love it.

























Anyway, this is round one. There are a couple more I was going to post, but I'm sleepy and these decisions (fantasy or not) cannot be taken lightly




Let me know what you think! Feel free to add some suggestions as well! And while we're talking, tell me what your fantasy league would be... we've all got something. ;-)

Exit

Do you believe in signs? I do. I've always asked for them when I'm not sure what to do. Or even when I am sure. Always.

I asked for a sign about my relationship. I asked for one every day. And you know what? I totally got one every day. In the form of avoidance and lies. Distance. Reservation. They were backwards, but they were still signs. And somehow, I didn't think this was obvious enough. I ignored what God, or the universe, or... what HE was telling me.

There were so many signs. I asked for them, but wasn't really looking for them. Now I see.

So after all this, I've resolved to keep my eyes open. To go where the wind blows me, if you will.

A couple weeks ago, I began pondering the idea of moving home to save money for grad school, or wherever I end up going. That day, my doorbell rang. It was a man, who asked me if anyone in my complex happened to be renting out their condo. Aha! The slap in the face I needed!

...Actually, I think at this point maybe God was trying to comment on my inability to recognize subtlety in the ways of the world.

But anyway, I knew if I didn't rent my condo to this guy, I may never find my true path in life. Done deal. Him and his wife are moving in next month.

And me? Selling all my stuff. Downsizing in a major way. In a few months, I might get into school. Or I might just start traveling and not come back. But either way, I won't be sorry I gave up my home and my belongings. It's what was supposed to happen.

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

Elizabeth Bishop