Directions

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. I tend to start my resolutions as soon as they come to me, all throughout the year. The thing I love about New Year's, though, is the chance to count up all the experiences I gained and figure out which ones I'm ready to say goodbye to. A new year. Such a fantastic opportunity to decide what to keep and what to leave behind.
2010 felt like a long battle against everything and everyone. I worked way too hard, and while I got some great things to add to my resume, I upped my stress level and made a surprisingly little amount of money. I fought for a one way relationship for most of 2010. And then I suddenly realized, I shouldn't really have to fight for anything. I'm a motivated person, and if I want to do something, I do it... but I'm starting to understand that if there's that much resistance, it's probably not right.
I started my resolution a few months ago. I'm a spiritual person, and finally just let God and The Universe tell me what to do. I stopped fighting, and started listening. Once I did that, I started making decisions I'm proud of. I got out of what would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I opened up a whole world of possibilities for myself. The decisions I made were the hardest ones I've ever had to make, but I know now that they were right.
Last night, with my best friend in tow, I had a compass tattooed on my foot. Hidden inside it is a daisy, my favorite flower. A wildflower. My spirit, in it's truest form, is a wild one. I've given myself permission to celebrate who I really am, and trust that I'll get pointed in the right direction.
So. I learned a thousand lessons in 2010. I'm going to remember them, but have already let go of pretty much everything else. I have no idea what 2011 will bring, but I can't wait to find out. And whatever happens, I know I'll land on my feet.

Exorcise

Aren't ghosts funny? You forget about them for a while, and then suddenly you're feeling all happy and fuzzy in your favorite hat and... smack, you're face to face with them. You look them straight in the eye, to say 'I'm not scared of you anymore, ghost,' and then pretend you never even saw them. But they know you did. They can tell.
Ghosts have all sorts of ways of trying to wedge their way into your life. Little reminders of their presence, just to make sure you don't forget. A pointless email. A little trinket left behind.
What can you do? No matter how many things you delete or throw away, there always seems to be something else. And even if you do manage to rid yourself of reminders, there's the chance they'll just decide to show their faces.
All you can do, really, is keep moving. Wash your face. Remember that you're actually okay. Don't let the ghosts know you noticed. And then hopefully they get bored after a while and move on, themselves.